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Warcraft III

2002-08-07: Warcraft III - Dream Page

The mines were almost empty. I only had about three thousand gold left in mine. The other players were almost out as well. I looked over and noticed that one of the neutral players was a really hot chick. I had to win this game. I looked at the ground and saw my city. I had a Tree of Life, an Ancient of War, some moonwells, and an Ancient of Lore. I queued up some huntresses and a bunch of Dryads and went out scouting.

The enemy base was overrun by Koala bears. They were everywhere, all fur and teeth. They were ravenous beasts, waiting to kill anyone that got too close. I walked back to my base.

Apparently I had queued up the wrong troops. My base was full of bananas. There were hundreds of bananas. They were very cheap and fast to build and didn't take up much food, but unfortunately they were very weak. I drug my hand through the air to select them, punched the 'A' key to the left of me, and gestured to the ground by the koala base. The bananas slowly began to move towards the base. The hottie watched my control over the bananas in impressed silence.

The koala base was a nightmare. Mountains of dead and crushed bananas were everywhere. But every now and then a banana would punch a koala and take it down. One banana stomped on a koala skull. The narrator shouted that the bananas entered a war frenzy once they saw that they were capable of victory. Some of the koalas were drowning in banana goo. My experience rose. It wasn't enough, though. The koalas were slowly but surely defeating the bananas. What the hell was Boba Fett doing here?

I returned to my base and queued up some dryads by pressing my foot up against the Ancient of Lore. This time I made certain that I was not clicking on bananas. Time shifted.

I had a Druid of the Talon in my hand. I had a whole army of them. I picked up the koala toy and my Druid toy killed it. But there were so many koala toys. Where the hell did all of my Druid toys go? Adam came in and asked me why I was playing with his toys.

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