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People

These are people I know

2003-08-10: Jessica Crane

It has been a good long while since I updated my people page. The people page is an odd dymanic. One the one hand you don't want to put up someone you don't really know, because they'll think you're some kind of maniacal stalker, but on the other hand people feel jilted when you post some peripheral semi-nobody yet don't have an entry for them. What to do? Do you come off as the creepy needy freak, or the aloof neglectful phallus-head?

Clingy creep it is! This is Jessica Crane. Upon cropping this shot in the Gimp I noticed that my friends hang out with some very beautiful girls. And since I (by definition) hang out with my friends, so do I.

A funny thing about Jessica Crane:

As you all know, I used to be a big fat piece of crap. I did not see Jessica at all in the 8-12 months it took me to go from fat to semi-swoll. After I had lost the weight, I saw her one night at the R Bar. She had no idea who I was. This isn't all that unusual, but what was unusual is that even after extensive prodding she could not remember who I was. Quong kept saying, "This is Angry John!" and she simply had no idea who I was. This after knowing her for well over two years.

She leaned over and told me, "I'm sorry that I don't remember you, but I guarantee that I'll remember you now. You're a really good looking guy now."

And so children, I hope that this update has been informative. Get on that fucking treadmill, because girls that look like this won't remember you if you're a nasty fatty.

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2001-10-03: Lucy

This is Lucy . She dances at Maiden Voyage. I highly recommend that you go to Maiden Voyage and get several table dances from her.

She's into horseback riding, long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners and SATAN.

That's right kids, when I say horseback riding, I mean she sacrifices horses to our lord and saviour Satan. And when I say long walks on the beach, it's to hide the bodies...and candlelight dinners are our "special code" for PERVERSE SATANIC RITUALS!!!!DIEEE!!!!YOU WILL BURN!!!!

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2003-09-23: Chris Trosclair

This image is not digitally altered in any way other than to crop. I got this shot just as he was falling out of a headstand. I am a brilliant photographer.

I have known Chris Trosclair ever since high school, which was before he started telling people that his name was Christian. His name may very well be Christian, but I'll be damned if I'm going to call him that. If you were Chris when I met you, you are Chris now.

Chris has popped in and out of my life's radar over the years. He lived with Gerald and Joe for a while during high school. These days I usually see him around the French Quarter, as is evidenced in this picture by the Angeli's sign in the background. Damn if this isn't a fine picture.

Funny Story:

One day, long long ago, before it was a tourist information center (mortality grips me!), Gerald and I took a trip to Kaldi's on Decatur. As we walked in I noticed this hot chick all goth-ed out buying some coffee. Gerald and I nudged each other, for she was hot. She was wearing a long black gothy skirt, black gloves, and some sort of gypsy-like head thing. Black lipstick, nails...you know the drill.

"Dude," I said, "I think I know that chick..."

"Me too..." Gerald agreed.

We kept looking but couldn't place her. She turned around and smiled at us. She obviously knew who we were. As she approached I started to get an uneasy feeling. The closer she got the greater the unease.

"Hendrix! Gerald!" shouted Chris Trosclair, "I haven't seen you guys for a while!"

The song "Lola" came to mind. The Crying game. Tootsie. Bosom Buddies. Clinger from MASH. The Mona Lisa. To Wong Foo. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Bugs Bunny. Joseph McCarthy. Ad Infinitum.

I looked at Gerald. We silently agreed to never mention this to anyone. But, I figure, what the hell. It's a funny story.

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2001-10-03: Nick

This is Nick Marks. He did the art for Dead Reckoning. He was also part owner of Burnt Earth LLC when he Tony and I were trying to make a living in the game business.

I asked Nick for a picture of himself for my webpage and this is what he sends me.

This anecdote is the perfect description of how he is. If you ask him to draw you a picture of a horse, he'll draw a picture of a demon horse with no skin attacking a room full of nuns on acid. And it looks so damn cool that you can't get pissed that he didn't draw your friggin horse.

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2001-10-03: Javier

This is Javier . I started hanging around him lately, and
he's a pretty cool guy. He's the only man I have ever seen
who would strip in front of his mother. This is a picture of
Javier doing what he does best.

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