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Toilets

2003-06-01: Pal's

Pal's is somewhat out of my normal stomping grounds. It can be found in a neighborhood in Bayou St. John. It is owned by Rio, the same guy who owns El Matador. And like El Matador, it has one of those badass Ms. Pac Man/Galaga combo machines. As of this writing, I currently hold the high score in Galaga at El Matador: 998,000. (Pause for applause). I'm not sure who has the high score at Pal's, but it is 558,000. Oh yes, it will be mine.

Pal's sports some of the same bartenders as El Matador, and if you know anything about anything in New Orleans, you know that this is a Good Thing.

The men's bathroom at Pal's has on it a pleasant reminder of why I am alive. What more is there to say? It and DBA have the most interesting bathroom walls around. (Note: my DBA bathroom pic doesn't have any wall coolness in it, unfortunately)

From time to time I have an unsettling feeling that there is some sort of "coolness network" at play in the city. I have this suspicion that word of mouth travels, and beepers go off. Cool girls call cool girls, and the cool girls call the privileged few lucky guys. This conspiracy of coolness ensures that all of the cool people end up at the same place at the same time. Those unlucky downtrodden un-cool guys end up at what last week was the cool place to be, only to find out that it is just him and some sixty year old drunk dude with a bright red nose. He wonders, "Where are all of the cool people I saw here last week?"

All I know is that in the night in question, all of the cool people were at Pal's.

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2002-03-04: Star Theatre

The Star Theatre, in beautiful downtown Covington, plays host to a weekly shindig known as The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I had never been, and thus had the letter V drawn onto my forehead and was forced to pantomime gay sexual relations with someone I had never met. A splendid time is guaranteed for all.

It is worth the price of admission just to see the girl that plays Magenta slink around the stage in various states of (un)dress. No lie. But as the faithful reader knows, I am quite into the goth chickies.

The theatre itself is quite well decorated. Its walls are adorned with memorabilia from the golden age of hollywood. This golden age motif even continues into the bathroom. I'm glad they didn't use an authentic golden age toilet, because I hear they just used a jar, some lube, and a corn cob. As you can see, their quite modern toilet is in a pristine state of repair and cleanliness. Thus your eyes are drawn to the memoribilia and not some other person's feces, as I'm sure is their intention. I'm sure that double blind placebo tests have shown irrefutably that exposing clientele to feces greatly reduces their desire to purchase Raisinettes.

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2001-10-03: Nick's

Ah, good old Nicks. Holy shit is this a run down bar.
But it's cool for some reason. They have a big mural for Camel's new
cigarettes on the wall there. For those of you looking for a dark
smelly bar that serves REALLY REALLY strong cheap drinks, this is
the place. My favorite pastime when at this bar is watching Donald
fall on the ground, and then seeing Dante's face when he laughs at
him. I also run into a lot of people I knew in high school when I am
here.

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2001-10-04: Jean Lafitte's Blacksmith Toilet

This toilet can be found in the historical Jean Lafitte's Blacksmith shop on Bourbon Street. Jean Lafitte was a successful pirate, and therefore wealthy. Because he was wealthy, he was revered as a hero by the denizens of the French Quarter. No doubt he would buy a round of table dances for all when he had one too many bottles of rum (yo ho ho).

These days the blacksmith shop is a great place to get strong mixed drinks and see an eclectic blend of gutter punks, tourists, and boy love. In order to get to the blacksmith shop you must first walk past the Oz and the Bourbon Pub, which are quite famous for their groundbreaking efforts towards furthering boy love. If I can muster up the courage, and find a pair of underwear fitted with a padlock, I may venture into one of these boy love palaces to grab a shot of their facilities.

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2001-10-03: Alibi

Here is the bathroom at the Alibi right around the
corner from Maiden Voyage...I've used this one quite a bit, and it's
often fairly clean. On this particular night it was hella nasty.

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